Ah parenting — sometimes the best thing in the world, and sometimes, if we’re honest, the worst.
No matter how much you’re looking forward to being a parent, no matter how organised you are and no matter what you’ve decided you will and will not do or allow, you will find yourself doing, saying and experiencing things you never thought you would.
Forget those perfect families on Instagram, those super organised crafty moms on Pinterest and those parents on the internet judging you for feeding your kids anything other than homemade organic balanced meals. This is what life with kids is REALLY like. From effortless outings to the park, to cosying up next to your well-behaved toddler at bedtime, most of time, the fantasies don’t quite add up to reality, and we’re here to remind you that you’re not alone.
Cooking with kids
The expectation: Perfect smiling faces? Check. Healthy food? Check. Everyone having the best time learning about cooking food? Check!
The reality: Turn your back for exactly one second and this happens — and if you don’t have kids and you think we’re exaggerating, your time will come.
Newborn photo shoot
The expectation: I can’t wait to show everyone how cute and perfect my brand new baby is!
The reality: It’s in my mouth! IT’S IN MY MOUTH!
The baker’s man can
The expectation: My kids and I are going to make the most amazing treats for nursery school — the children/teachers/parents will be awestruck.
The reality: Was involving the dog entirely necessary? Off to Woolworths to buy treats, mess them up a little and pass them off as my own.
Arts and crafts
The expectation: Creating beautiful works of art is a great way to bond with your children.
The reality: Except when the work of art ends up looking like this and haunting your nightmares.
The expectation: I can’t wait to treasure this moment for the rest of time.
The reality: No children were harmed in the taking of this picture, we think…
The expectation: I’ll have it all — glowing skin, coordinated outfits that show off my cute belly and perfect photos for Instagram.
The reality: Heartburn, cankles, and if you drop something, forget about bending over to pick it up.
The expectation: The family that plays together stays together!
The reality: Ya… he’s not mine.
The expectation: The kids can sleep in our bed for as long as their little hearts desire!
The reality: Sleep is overrated. Apparently, so are eyes.
The expectation: If I eat all my vegetables, I’ll grow up to be big and strong!
The reality: They’ll find ANY excuse not to eat what you made.
The expectation: I’ve always wanted a little girl to dress up!
The reality: She picks her clothes and I pick my battles.
First day of school
The expectation: Here come the waterworks…
The reality: Or not… (meanwhile you will have collapsed in a pile of tears because your baby doesn’t need you any more).
The amount of love you’ll feel
The expectation: My heart will explode with love and butterflies when my baby hugs and kisses me.
The reality: My heart explodes with love and butterflies when my baby hugs and kisses me.
And while you’re at it, you HAVE to check out these parenting confessions — they will make you feel a lot better about your life.