Moms reveal all. And we don’t judge. Enjoy these amazing parenting moments from our readers and from some of our favourite South African mom bloggers!
Tantrum time: When my kid throws a tantrum at the shops, I walk a few metres away from her, then stare on looking horrified so nobody will know she’s mine.
Good parenting: When we go to restaurants, I always order a side plate of chips ‘for my daughter’, but really they’re for me.
Kids these days: I blame my farting on my little ones. All. The. Time.
Not in MY house: I told my kids that Cartoon Network only came with their grandparents’ house, and not with ours. They believed me for years.
Hands off: When I don’t feel like sharing, I tell them that the chocolate I’m eating has chili in it and is very spicy. We tend to have a LOT of spicy chocolate in the house.
I’d rather watch a cat video: When your child excitedly tells you to ‘watch this Mom!’ — there’s about a 99% chance that it will NOT be impressive. Maz Halliday from the awesome blog, caffeineandfairydust.com.
I scream, you scream: I have a friend who used to tell her kids that when the ice cream truck plays its tune, it means all the ice cream is finished. How cruel (but hilarious).
It’s not me, it’s them: My car is ALWAYS a mess of chocolate wrappers, bits of paper and empty water bottles. When I give someone a lift, I shake my head and apologise for the mess ‘the kids’ made.
Bribery and corruption: I’ve told my children that if they don’t sit in their car seats, a policeman will come and take Mommy to jail; obviously they’re still young enough to not want that to happen, so getting them in is never a problem — also, it’s true. Cindy Alfino, who writes the hilarious blog, 3kids2dogsand1oldhouse.co.za.
Mommy’s little helper: For my sanity I keep a secret stash of Lindt chocolate hidden out of sight from my kids (and husband) and sneak off to eat it when the going gets tough… Obviously this has to be done as silently as possible as nothing makes kids come running faster than hearing a chocolate wrapper rustling… miraculously they suddenly have supersonic hearing from across the house when only minutes earlier they didn’t hear your instructions to turn off the TV from 1 metre away! Kathryn Rossiter, who shares more parenting moments at becomingyou.co.za.
If at first you don’t succeed, lie: When my son is being fussy about eating something, I tell him it’s chicken, but just looks a little different. He’s happily scoffed calamari, prawns and even livers!
Occupied: Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom and pretend I’m using the toilet, but I’m actually just enjoying two minutes of peaceful silence! Belinda Bolmfield, mom blogger at makingmountains.co.za.
The old switcheroo: I’ve replaced a dead goldfish with a new one. No questions were asked and I’d do it again.
Never on time: Now that I have two kids, I’ll never take the blame for being late again. They’re also a brilliant excuse when you want to leave somewhere early. Thanks, kids!
It definitely wasn’t me: I blamed my niece for flicking ink up the wall and ruining my parents’ new wallpaper, but it was actually me!
Me-time: Sometimes, after a really long day, I quietly put on the TV to their favourite channel and while they float towards the noise like the little zombies I’m encouraging them to become, I disappear into my room with a good book. Cindy Alfino, from 3kids2dogsand1oldhouse.co.za.
Safe zone: I told my husband that the kids begged me not to knock down their duvet fort in the lounge, but really I just like to go in there for some peace and quiet.
Secret eating: That last cupcake or packet of chips? Wasn’t me — honest!
Blame the kids: The food stains on my shirt are the toddler’s fault, definitely not down to me being a slob.
What’s for dinner? While I love the idea of feeding my kids organic whole grain food laced with goji berries and flax seeds, actually we have Pizza Friday, Ice cream Sunday and Croissant Saturday. We indulge in chocolates on the couch, enjoy cookies over teatime and frequent The Creamery. Throw in a few bribery sweets here and there and I’m certainly guilty of giving my kids too much crap. Bite me. Leigh Geary, who writes themomdiaries.co.za.
Book worm: When reading a bedtime story to my three-year-old, I sometimes flick from page three to page nine, then keep my fingers crossed he doesn’t notice…
Want more? These embarrassing parenting moments are guaranteed to get you laughing.