Is your passion gone? Are you sitting around wondering how to spice up your relationship? Take action and go get it back!
We asked Dr Marlene Wasserman, a clinical sexologist who’s better known as Dr Eve, how to spice up your relationship. She’s got some great ideas on how to perk up your love life, creatively, of course.
Here are 5 ways you can bring that passion back into the bedroom. What are you waiting for? Let’s reignite that fire!
- Open your mind to change.
It’s best to plan to revitalise your sex life together — that way, you avoid unnerving surprises and rejection. Perhaps you could make Valentine’s night really special.
To get into the right frame of mind, you need information and a good dollop of fantasy. You could start by reading a book like The Guide to Getting it On! America’s Coolest and Most Informative Book about Sex for Adults of All Ages by Paul Joannides or good old Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James. Then you may like to view and listen to erotically beautiful videos and CD’s and buy a few other exciting items for your revamp.
- Go on a sexy shopping spree.
Sex should be fun, so why not go shopping for sexy ‘bits ‘n pieces’ together? You need not spend much to put yourselves in the mood. You could head straight home when, after buying black stockings, you suggest that your partner imagines peeling them off your legs.
Or you could choose some sexy underwear together. Don’t just think G-strings, look out for something floaty like a baby doll style or corset, perfect for curvy or pear-shaped figures. And while you’re choosing what to wear, think about appealing to all your senses — think slinky, silky fabrics, or anything with a fluffy trim.
You should both have a turn choosing something you’d like to see the other wear — or take off.
- Dressing up to seduce.
Learning how to spice up your relationship doesn’t have to be difficult, give your cupboard a shake and see what falls out for dressing up to seduces. For example, gift wrap yourself in swathe of see-through scarves or wear nothing but a waistcoat, necktie, G-string and boots.
Try adding a few extras — a diamanté collar, tiara, stiletto heels or fishnet stockings. But, however low-key or up-tempo you play it, don’t try to hide yourself — being proud of your body and femininity will make you look and feel incredibly sexy. Or try these easy ways to increase your sexual allure and boost your confidence.
When it comes to actually peeling your clothes off, make sure you wear pieces that can be taken off easily. A bra that undoes at the front is good — fumbling about behind your back looks unsexy.
Make sure he knows while you strip he can only look, not touch. Once you’ve finished he won’t be able to keep his hands off ….
- How about a few sex enhancers?
Yes, it’s time to explore beyond music, soft lights and perfumed candles. If nothing else, invest in a water-based lubricant. It will increase sexual sensation and pleasure. Why water-based? It is closer to a woman’s own lubricating fluid and condom compatible.
Try a sex toy that’s been specially designed by women to help you to experience new orgasmic sensations. You can order online if you’d rather not visit a sex shop.
- Think atmosphere, think action.
Create the right atmosphere and make sure the room is warm. When you’re wearing next to nothing, goose bumps are a hell of a passion killer.
Keep the lighting low — it’s more soothing. And if possible, share a bath or shower beforehand — it’ll relax you both and help you feel more intimate, more in the mood.
If it’s you who’s taken the initiative, the idea is to make him feel you’re treating him. Give him an extra special sexy massage — gently caressing and stroking, and lingering on the areas he seems to enjoy.
For a truly erotic experience, it’s important that your night of passion appeals to the brain as well as the body. This can mean trying a completely different sexual position. But, whatever you decided to do, make sure it feels right for both of you. And be brave — if there’s something you’ve been longing to do, suggest it. Most men love it when women take the initiative sexually.
What are you waiting for? Now’s not the time to be shy. Now that we’ve shown you how to spice up your relationship, go grab your passion, with both hands!