So, you have trawled through what feels like countless matches on that dating app, and you finally have a date night lined up. And while you don’t want it to turn into an interrogation, there are important questions to ask a guy before taking things any further.
Read more: The dos and don’ts of using Tinder to date
With Tinder alone claiming to have more than 50 million users worldwide, half the dating battle is finding common ground with a perfect stranger, then weeding out the ones who are no match at all – hopefully in as little time as possible.
So, we asked the top dating gurus (and a few of our opinionated Essentials readers) to tell us what they think we should be asking potential suitors… Hey, it can’t hurt, right?
Here’s our checklist of questions to ask a guy on the first date:
1. Tell me three things that are on your bucket list?
‘Try asking something that makes them think about themselves in a positive way rather than making them feel like they’re under interrogation.’ – Matchmaker Amélie Guerard
2. What’s your favourite food?
‘It makes quite a good conversation starter, as we all have to eat! I find that it’s a handy opener to discover what their interests are without sounding too heavy.’ – Hayley O’Hare, author of Tinder Tactics (Scarlet Editions)
3. What makes you happy?
‘The best questions are short but also interesting. You can find out a lot about a person just by their response – if they are intelligent, they will go with something thoughtful and real.’ – Dating guru James Preece
4. What’s your mom like?
‘Seeing how a person speaks about their mother can be very revealing. Are they respectful? Are they close to their family? Would you potentially be spending all of your time with their family on holidays, or can you rather jet off to Zanzibar for a romantic getaway together?’ – Whitney Wolfe, founder and CEO of dating app Bumble
5. What’s your ideal way to spend a weekend?
‘I would say it’s important to ask a question that’s meaningful to you, so if you’re into music try something like, “What’s your desert island playlist?” If you’re sporty, something like, “What’s the ultimate challenge you would love to tackle one day?” would be appropriate.’ – Relationship and dating expert Caroline Brealey
6. What do you look for in a potential partner?
‘It’s important to ask this so that you are both clear about what you’re looking for in a relationship. You’re listening for shared values and common goals and taking your time to really get to know your potential mate, rather than jumping in on emotions or raw attraction.’ – Jo Barnett, dating coach and relationship expert
7. What do you think people take for granted most?
‘This works in two ways: you’ll find out one of their pet peeves, and learn what’s important to them.’ – Sarah Wallace
8. Where do you do most of your grocery shopping?
‘From that snippet of information you can guess how much they earn, and if they’re stingy.’ – Dani Tang
9. Do you want to have a family one day?
‘For a 30-something woman who wants children, knowing the answer to this right off the bat is important.’ – Bronwen Watson
10. Do you consider yourself to be a morning person or a night owl?
‘You’ll instantly be able to tell if you could co-habit peacefully.’ – Tracy Dzivida
11. How did you and your last ex break up, and are you still on good terms?
‘You can guess a lot from how they react. If they call them names or go on about them, they’re clearly not over it!’ – Megan Penfold
12. Do you love your job?
‘No one wants to go out with someone who hates what they’re doing 9 to 5, (read: most of their life).’ – Chloe Jackson
13. How has your day been so far?
‘Their answer will hint as to whether they’re an optimist or a pessimist – they might even tell you how they’ve been feeling in the run-up to the date.’ – Karen Scott