If the thought of sexting (or sending sexy messages to your partner) turns your cheeks red and sweat beads begin forming on your forehead, then this shy girl’s guide to sexting is just for you.
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First things first, it’s important to understand that sexting doesn’t have to involve sending nude pics, in fact we definitely advise against that. Instead, sexting is an exchange of (harmless) sultry message between you and your partner that could certainly spice things up both in, and out, of the bedroom.
Slow & steady
So you’re pumped and ready to get down and dirty with your man… via smartphone. We’re with you all the way, but take it slowly; he may get a little creeped out if your first sext describes you pouring hot wax on to his… precious jewels. Start off by letting him know that you’re thinking of him and that you wish he was with you and wait for him to ask why.
Use emojis sparingly when sexting and do not, under any circumstances use this one ?. Stay away from anything too cutesy — you want to come across as sexy, not six. If you’re just getting started at this whole sexting thing, then emojis can be a good place to start because they can help you say what you want to say, without actually saying it.
Destroying the evidence
Now we’re not suggesting that your partner is not to be trusted, but deleting sexts once you’re done will give you both the peace of mind that the messages won’t be shared with anyone else. It also means that you’ll need to start again with a whole new convo the next time the opportunity presents itself, otherwise you could just scroll through your chat history and read past messages — what kind of fun would that be?
And most importantly, you do not want your sexts falling into the hands of a friend who thinks it would be funny to post them on the net.
Please & thank you
Be sure to compliment your partner when sexting — it’ll give him the confidence to open up to you a bit more and let’s be honest — means that you’ll probably get one back. When given a compliment, you must accept it and not argue. If he thinks you have a nice bum then go with it, he doesn’t want to hear about how big you think it is; he wants you to own it and appreciate what he’s said.
Read more: How to get exactly what you want in bed
Just because you’re sending a sultry message does not mean that grammar, punctuation and proper English goes out the window. Name his (and your) body parts as you usually would — don’t try sound ‘cool’ and use slang words or words you’re likely to hear during a porno.
It can also be really distracting and confusing when you have to stop your hot sexting session to figure out what the heck a message means.
Also the use of ‘LOL’ or ‘haha’ should be strictly prohibited because there is nothing funny about you telling your man what you want to do to him in the bedroom or vice versa and it’ll just make the whole thing sound like a joke.
Timing is key
Choosing the right time for sexting can make or break your little smartphone rendezvous. Telling your partner what you want to do to them while they’re at a family brunch, grandparents included, is not an ideal situation.
Firstly because that would just be awkward for him, but also because you’re not likely to get the response you’re hoping for as Granny May squeezes his cheeks and reads his phone over his shoulder. It will kill the mood, your libidos and probably your ego.
Without sounding completely cliché — the biggest turn on for any man is a confident woman. The same rule applies when you’re sexting. Own your words and don’t hold back — the more open and forthcoming you are, the more he will be, and he’ll probably end up adoring you even more for it.
Confident sexting can lead to even better sex IRL (that’s In Real Life for non-millennials) because you’ve already set the scene and you would’ve both been waiting for it in anticipation.
Some sexting examples to get you started:
- I can’t stop thinking about what we did last night
- Guess what I’m wearing right now
- Just got out of the shower and it’s way too hot to put clothes on
- Trying to focus at work, but all I can think about is you… naked
- I’ve got a surprise waiting for you at home (hint: it’s NSFW)
- It’s a pity you’re not here right now
- Just got back from yoga — turns out I can put my leg behind my head