Since EL James’ sub-dom phenom hit the shelves (and the big screen), there’s been a reported rise in women paying men to fulfil their Christian Grey fantasies. Hotels are even cashing in on the kink with luxury ‘50 Shades’ mini-breaks, complete with in-room pleasure box (bondage tape and Pringles anyone?).
But you don’t need to call in the pros or leave the house to enjoy your very own ‘red room’ experience. Here’s how to get your man to match up to Mr Fifty Shades…
CHAPTER 1 Set the scene
If you’re going to be cuffed to the bed, you don’t want to be staring at a pile of washing. Dim the lights and use candles to create a sexy atmosphere (opt for aphrodisiac scents like vanilla and jasmine), but don’t turn the lights off — this is about taking yourself out of your sexual comfort zone.
Pick a ‘safe-word’ to use when you’ve reached your limit. ‘Choose something other than “no”,’ suggest Em and Lo, authors of 150 Shades of Play. ‘It can be “red” or “banana” — anything you wouldn’t normally say during sex.’
CHAPTER 2 Blindfolds and handcuffs
Your senses play a very important part in your enjoyment of sex, so when you remove one you heighten the others. This is why blindfolding can be so sexy, plus it’s a great introduction to surrendering yourself to your man.
If you want to experiment with some restraint play, but are not quite ready for handcuffs or ropes, a tie is the sexiest place to start — just like Mr Grey.
CHAPTER 3 Be a good little submissive
A third of women admit they fantasise about being sexually dominated. ‘I love it when my man orders me to get naked, while he stays fully dressed,’ says reader Amy Hopkins, 36. ‘It makes him feel powerful and in control, it’s a real turn-on.’
Playing a submissive can be great for letting go and escaping the realities of everyday life. Invest in a remote control vibrator and give your man the remote so he can control your pleasure.
CHAPTER 4 Slap and tickle
Pain when you’re turned on can bring you immense pleasure, but if you’re feeling nervous or unsure, start by getting him to nibble your lip, moving on to your nipples; tell him how hard he can bite or pull them.
Suggest sex in the doggy position and tell him you want him to spank you — not knowing when will take you by surprise and be a massive turn-on. Start softly and build up to something you’re both comfortable with.
CHAPTER 5 It’s playtime
Dirty talk is a bit like role-play for beginners and great for discovering each other’s fantasies. Get him to tell you what he’d like to do to you and visa versa.
‘Keep the scenario simple,’ advises Emily Dubberley, author of Friendly Fetish. ‘Try getting him to play the “lingerie assistant” and help you “adjust” your underwear in the mirror, moving on to acting out more specific fantasies when and if you want to.’ Where you go next and how far you take it is totally up to you…
Read more: The shy girl’s guide to role play