Relationships are a two-way street. Yes, your partner may have some things they could work on but that doesn’t mean you’re completely blameless when it comes to your relationship problems.
No one likes admitting, even to themselves, that they may be doing something wrong, but looking at your behaviour with a critical eye can have a really positive impact on your relationship.
Here are 6 things you might be guilty of that often cause relationship problems:
Having unrealistic expectations
If you expect to come home to a fresh bouquet of flowers every day from your practical and budget-conscious boyfriend, you’re going to be disappointed… a lot.
We all have certain expectations in a relationship. These can range from big things, like marriage and kids, to smaller details like if you’re okay with socks on the bathroom floor.
It’s important that you sit down and discuss these expectations so you’re both on the same page. This way you’ll understand what each of you expects from the other.
Not respecting boundaries
Just because you’re comfortable with something, doesn’t mean your significant other (SO) is. If he isn’t okay with being very affectionate in front of his parents, respect that.
Boundaries are there to create a safe space in a relationship so they should be agreed upon and respected by both parties. Figure out what they are for both of you early on in the relationship, before any resentment can come into play.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be the only one making sacrifices, but the two of you should have mutual respect for the lines put in place.
Expecting affection, but not giving it
In a relationship, we all want to feel loved and appreciated, so being affectionate with your partner is important. If you want more affection between the two of you, being cold and offish won’t magically make your relationship warm and loving.
Try doing something for your SO like watching his favourite movie together or making him a cup of coffee while he’s still in bed on a Sunday morning. Those little acts of kindness will make a big impact in creating a loving relationship.
Good communication has been touted as the number one requirement for any happy relationship. So it’s not surprising that a lack of it can cause serious relationship problems.
If your partner has done something that annoyed or upset you, speak up. Tell them what you have an issue with, how it made you feel and offer a solution to avoid it in the future.
Allow them to do the same and have mutual respect for each other during the process. This way, you’ll be able to deal with small disagreements before they become serious issues.
Being overly critical
We all know relationships take compromise. You’re both learning how to live together harmoniously and this means quite a bit of trial and error.
The worst thing to do when your partner is attempting to improve is to immediately begin criticizing their efforts. No one likes being yelled at for doing their best and this might discourage them from trying again in the future.
If you see your partner is trying to improve, even if the attempt is not perfect, give them some positive feedback and offer assistance in order to encourage them to keep at it.
Using your partner as your go-to scapegoat
Nobody likes being treated as someone else’s emotional punching bag, especially when that person has done nothing wrong.
If you’ve had a stressful day at work or your sister said something that rubbed you the wrong way, don’t snap at your partner when they ask what’s for dinner and take your frustrations out on them.
Instead, try venting your feelings to your SO and ask them for advice on the situation. This will turn a bad mood into a helpful bonding opportunity.